I am just irritated. I married a Jew. Granted, I know very little about the culture so I've got to tread with caution. We cannot go judging what we do not know. Or something like that.
I'll back up a little. I LOVE church. I love church of almost any type or flavor. That's because I didn't grow up with any church at all. When I was in the sixth grade I read the fabulous and wonderful book by Judy Blume called Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret. If you missed it, I'm sorry, I don't have time to do a book review this evening, I'm supposed to be sleeping.
Ms Blume's book woke up a sleeping need or desire in me for the community or company of spiritual communion. I went to church. I went to church all over the town of Glastonbury. I ran the gamut from Catholicism all the way down the North East Protestant food chain to the Congregationalists. Later I met the Quakers and the Unitarians. Loved 'em all. Except for the Catholics, they pissed me off something awful when I got married and discussed the possible baptism of my babies, but I sure do like the ritual and pomp. Nice. Alter boys make me cry and all that (for the right reasons). I also met the raging Southern Baptists (just the African American branch, not sure if the other branches have any bearing) - Loved loved loved, them, and the Born Again Fundamentalists (ran screaming into the night). But I didn't meet many Jews. That's because they hide the Jews in Glastonbury (just ask my best friend Deeb, she's one of two, I think).
Well then I up and married one. Poor guy. He's all lapsed and everything now too. I'm not claiming fault, I'm just noticing that yet again, without a woman in the household to direct the spiritual leanings a lot of men tend to fall right off whatever wagon they're on. I wonder about that. In any event, I did what I thought I ought to do. I tied in the seasonal Jewish holidays and the Christian holidays to the Pagan passages I happen to celebrate - um, that would be Winter Solstice and The Spring Fertility Rights; I give the rest a nod if I'm in the mood.
There is an extra series of events that is very harvest oriented. The two primary fall events are Rosh Hashana (New Year) and Yom Kippur (Atonement). Rosh Hashana (Shana Tova, all) began at sunset tonight. Beloved is in Wisconsin with his Ethanol farmers. I don't believe they have many Jews in the corn fields of Wisconsin and certainly no time or space to sit in Temple and contemplate the new year tomorrow while he's glad handing the farmers (pretty sure he ought to be ashamed of himself but I try to keep that to myself, he is, after all, my guy and a pretty good guy at that).
So I was IMing him this evening as Nanny ties up the phone line between 9 PM and 1 AM on a regular basis (and I'm pretty much ok with that as I don't like to use the phone much) and I mentioned he might like to go to temple on Yom Kippur and that I would go with him. This is an all day event. I can kind of make it to about noon and then I'm out of there and looking for a bacon sandwich (Amy, if you're reading this, I do beg your pardon). But I like it. I really do. For me it's about sitting in silence (and then not so silence) of community and examining who you are, who you have been and who you believe you want to be. I find it cleansing, honest and healing.
Howeveah....
We don't belong to any particular temple. He tried and tried to find one that worked for him and after running into the Humanistic Jews of Westport (HE ran screaming) I think he gave up. I didn't ask. Mostly because I just don't think about that kind of thing very often. So now he has no temple to go to. If he wants to go he'll be expected to cough up several hundred dollars just to pass the threshold.
Several hundred dollars. Maybe more.
It isn't that we can't but how the hell do they know that? This man comes looking for a spiritual home, grasping at the roots that defined his manhood and he cannot pass go without a substantial amount of money.
It is like this in many churches but this one takes the cake.
Before you start in on me, I've heard the reasons. I've heard. I've heard enough.
It saddens me. Yahweh, say it ain't so.
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all.organized.religion.
OK, we must be living under a rock or something. Don't understand the financial requirements for entering Temple. Explain?
me too. And I'm not sure I can explain. Temple requires a financial commitment that seems to extend beyond the Christian concept of tithing, best I can tell. If you are a member of a synogogue then you are paying 10% of your pre or post (can't remember which) income to the community to support it the same way Christians support a church or churches. I don't know if the 10% is mandatory, I know that in some Temples it is and I have heard other Jews move to another Temple because they were asked to provide a tax return - so, it is obviously not the same everywhere. What does appear to be the same is the money requirement to obtain 'an invitation' to come to Temple for one of the high holy days, which last night and today are and Yom Kippur, Saturday after next, much more so. They seem to want to recoupe some of the money they might have gotten had you been a member.
Oops, I erred. Rosh Hashana will continue for eight days ending with Yom Kippur.
It is very similar to tithing but it varies greatly by institution, and I use the word institution very deliberately. Where I grew up and lived until a few years ago, there were wide variations. Note that in addition to the dues, there is also a building fund and this is mandatory, sometimes only for a few years and sometimes in perpetuity. Kind of like a condo association. Hmmm... So at the top was Temple Beth Sholom. TBS was the home of the Orthodox wannamaccabes. This is the class of Jew that sort of calls themselves Orthodox but is unwilling to give up the creature comforts, especially being able to have that Saturday manicure. So call it 6k-7k per year (5 years ago or more), plus building fund, plus religious school, plus "other" stuff, plus the high holiday pledge. This is "voluntary" of course but what good Jew can resist the call from God, especially at this time of year and especially when you look at the pledge table and see that your neighbor has already taken his/her card and it now becomes about, well, you know... Then there is M'Kor Shalom. I like M'kor Shalom. These are the Conservatives with a purpose. And it is real and genuine and they are down to earth. Well, right up until they moved out of a simple building and built their very own McTemple in Voorhees. Membership is a little more reasonable. Then Beth El, more or less like M'kor. Then Adath Emanu-El. For the "simpel" folk. Membership was very very resonable and this made it feel okay to give extra at various times during the year. Plus, the Men's Club had a kick-ass softball team.
It's actually 9 days during this time of reflection. I told Beloved and she suggested I post a comment to clarify and to forgive this minor transgression, which I of course do. Because after all, isn't what this time is all about? But I appear to have covered my obligation in the past 15 minutes. Forgive me Amy, and everyone else. Hi Mom. Hi Dad. Hi Frank. L'Shana Tova to all, and I mean All.
Well, Cielo, I suppose that ought to about answer any questions you might have had. Erm, uh, thanks, Sweetie, and I do appreciate your tolerance of my, erm, Pagan irreverance.
p.s. I feel the need to point out that he is saying 'hello' to dead people. I note that he did not say hello to Dayle or Jeff, who are both living. That's my guy.
Well, NoMans (and Amy too) might not understand how much I appreciate their education of me. I mentioned in a post somewhere that where I grew up had under a 2% non-white population. Catholics were/are considered pagans. Not in a bad way. (again I go back to tolerance not being that thing it is most liberally mistaken for) So in my whole and entire life I've known one Jew I think, and she and I were both 18 and she had the best pot and was the worst rider and had no social graces.
So I've read the OT and thus I'd be familiar with the basics, but reading the Bible doesn't really give you any idea what the various Christian sects believe much less practice . . .
But I can do the ancestor worship thing. (grin)
Thank you so much Alecto and NoMans. While I know my OT fairly well, the modern day practice of Judaism is a complete mystery to me. And I, too, love the ancestry thing.
CG - I think you're describing my best friend but I can't figure out how she got to TN or how you would ever have gotten her on a horse in the first place, but it would have been bad news if you had. The rest is still true to this day. God bless her.
And yes, that man sure does commune with his ancestors. I mostly try to get mine to stop talking to me or at me all the time.
And now I am confused. What is OT?
Wait, I got it, Old Testament, sorry, my Pagan got out. It's more than that, there's the whole Torrah thing which seems to be separate and apart and then the mystical stuff which just fascinates me except that Madonna got all wrapped up in it and I shied away.
I'll take you Jew and do him nice and good, nice and gentle. I'm twice the woman and four times the mother you'll ever be.
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